FRIENDSHIP: That 10-letter word can bring so much joy, happiness, fulfillment and love into one’s life……. but it can also rear its ugly head and bring so much betrayal, heartache, deception and confusion. How can one word have so many different emotions to it?
Friendships are very hard to find these days. I’m speaking of the real, I-can-tell-you-anything- no-matter-what,-good-or-bad, type of friendships. You don’t get those too often in your lifetime and when you do, you should treasure them.
Friendship is defined as this: The ability to be oneself, express one’s feelings and make mistakes without fear of judgement
A true friend is someone that you can confide in. Someone you can tell your deepest (and darkest) secrets to without judgement. A person you can go to with with emotions of joy, excitement, happiness, tears, sadness, anger, or regret.
How do you really know someone? How do you know when have really found that type of friendship that you can trust and confide in?
Just a few tips that I am learning myself in how to be a good friend.
- ALWAYS tell the truth. NO matter what the consequences are, you have an obligation as a person and as a friend to tell the truth.
- Don’t pick sides. Nobody wins in this situation.
- Be positive. Be uplifting when a friend is in need. She can (and probably has the right to) bash her friend, boyfriend, husband all day long. She does not need your help cheering her on.
- Don’t go behind her back. It’s like stabbing her with a knife. You earn no credibility for yourself and risk the chance of losing a friend.
- Lend a listening ear. You don’t have to have all the right advice. She may just want to vent it out.
- Don’t gossip about what you’ve “heard.” Go straight to the source. This often happens so easily and then you end up with a web of “she said that he said that she did this” and it gets way too confusing and involves way too many people that have no place in the situation. (See how confusing that was?)
This verse comes to mind as I write this thought: An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. Proverbs 27:5-6 .
We all hurt when our friends hurt. As humans, we all tend to want to attack the ones who have hurt the person we care for. It’s just the nature in us. Try to keep the bash-fest at a minimal. It really only makes things worse for everyone involved and it doesn’t solve anything.
You should NEVER have to doubt your friendships with someone. You should never have to wonder or worry about those you consider “close friends.” We all make mistakes. EVERY SINGLE one of us have and will make mistakes, but it is up to you to be true to yourself and to be honorable when those mistakes happen.
In all of my rambling, my #1 piece of advice on friendship is this. BE HONEST. BE TRUTHFUL. BE FORGIVING. Be the person that you would want someone to be to you. Deceit is an ugly trait to have lingering over you.
To all of you who have those few special people you can really call your best friends, I commend you. It truly is a wonderful and unique gift and honor to have those people in your life so treasure them.
To all of you out there who have little devils lingering over your head and in your heart, get them out. It has to be exhausting and tiring to have such a heavy load on your shoulders.
Only you and the man upstairs knows the truth, so it’s up to you to decide if you are going to be a so-called friend with a conscience or a true friend with confidence.
Proverbs 18:24
There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.
I love you not only for what you are,
But for what I am when I am with you;
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself,
But for what you are making of me;
I love you not for closing your ears to the discords in me,
But for adding to the music in me by worshipful listening;
You have done it without a touch, without a word, without a sign.
You have done it just by being yourself.
Perhaps that is what being a friend means, after all. – Author Unknown
Another important virtue I value in a friend is someone who will tell me when I am wrong. I think it’s important to have that friend that will support you, but also call you out when you might be making a terrible decision. At the very least someone who can point out the pros and cons of a situation.